A Stream of Destructive Inventions to Unite the Herd
Yesterday while scanning the front page of the Guardian website, my eyes caught sight of an opinion piece titled, I loved the honesty of Tinder – then I met Mr No Sex Before Marriage. Against my better judgment, and having already read the more significant articles on the page, I clicked on the Tinder piece, just to have something stupid to deride in that free moment I had.
I love the honesty of myself, which is why I can say without hesitation that a lot of online dating sites or apps like Tinder are there for specific types of people. And by specific types I mean certain adjectives that could accurately describe the sheep-mentality of those who will try anything just because it's available to do.
The entire concept of posting a picture of yourself, photoshopped selfies or not, in a public sphere, and in hopes that someone will decide that you are attractive enough to "try on" like shoes ordered online, is frightening.
Crowd by Joe Davis (2010)
The cycle of oblique abuse draws up more insecurity and self-destructive behavior, yet also feelings of entitlement and a need to participate in the game that is competitive individualism. It’s a lethal combination, keeping the herd psychologically impaired.
It's a generation of disposable dating and people.
Swipe, swipe, swipe, move on to the next one selling themselves.
It's the greatest deception in that one can find real companionship by flipping through a catalogue of like minded people. Actually, that makes sense. Like minded people on apps like Tinder will find something in common with eachother. Like prefering convenience, instant gratification and quantity over quality.
I heard a story once, relayed by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, of a Western Muslim man visiting the Sahara desert to meet some Bedouin. One night, the man and his friend brought a Bedouin back to the shelter they were staying in. A television was on in a corner of the room. Upon seeing it, the Bedouin quickly turned his head away. You have never seen a television before, the Westerner remarked to him. Aren't you curious to experience it? The Bedouin replied, I have heard there are bad things in them, and I don't want to let them into my heart.
Why is that a great story? It’s unique and meaningful, and offers an independent character at the center of it. Most people aren’t independent thinkers, they just like to believe that they are.
I often think the Bedouin's response sums up how the vast majority of people are dismissive of what they allow themselves to absorb. How does something affect your well-being? Your respect for self? Your conscience? Your autonomy? Your principles?
The vapid article itself says a lot about the narcissism involved in the social networking/dating craze in recent times.
The writer, an avid Tinder user who rattles off a number of requirements in order for a guy on Tinder to be approved by her, and who is also in therapy (like most Americans) writes, "what was great about Tinder was the lack of risk. Not having to face my crippling social phobia and fear of rejection is the appealing factor here."
Yes, if it's one thing we know it's that people are now more comfortable communicating with others through a screen, grasping onto a false sense of intimacy. Through a screen, your true flaws are veiled, airbrushed, nonexistant. A person becomes distorted and a performance artist. And when you lose a grip on reality, and the self, you become soulless, and forget how to truly live as a human being. Hence, the drugs, the depression, the devaluation of others, the loss of control.
The inflated sense of self people like the writer possess is a paradox.
She has a demanding checklist of which she uses to judge people on a dating app that can best be equated to scrounging for half-eaten fast food in a dumpster, and then complains about having no luck in meeting the right person.
This comment written by a reader in the discussion section of the article sums it all up plainly:
