How to Name Your Child According to Western Standards
The meaning of existence is to ensure that westerners feel secure and comfortable in the globalized age. It’s time the rest of the world learns to show consideration for westerners and stop inconveniencing them. All it takes is some simple changes to a part of your identity.
In an article published on the Guardian blog recently, Phoenicia Hebebe Dobson-Mouawad prescribed some advice to would-be parents in a piece titled, “How not to name your child - five golden rules”.
The main purpose of the commentary stems from the writer’s own personal struggles with her given name since childhood, as a mixed-race person growing up in the West. She prefaces her article with the opinion that “naming your child shouldn’t be a chance to prove how cool or creative you are.”
I immediately came under the impression that the article would discourage the celebrity trend of giving children unconventional names such as “Apple” or “Audio Science” because as Dobson-Mouawad suggests from personal experience, an unusual name will have a long term negative effect on a child.
Instead, she refers to her own name to make the case that there should be a standard of acceptable names for children. This standard should be met so that children do not grow up feeling like a misfit, but also, it’s a solution that caters to the convenience of others.
In order to be good parents and people in general, according to Dobson-Mouawad, five rules should be considered when deciding on a name for a newborn child.
The first rule asks, have you heard the name before?
What this suggests is that if it is not a traditional Western name, or falls into the standard of “normal”, a child will be singled out for having an odd-sounding name, and face ridicule instead of being treated respectfully or equally.
The second rule questions, can you pronounce it without having to look it up? Essentially, if a name is difficult to pronounce, it is not worth the trouble, and nobody will appreciate the inconvenience of having to learn how to say or spell it.
Thirdly, it is best to avoid hyphens unless both names are easily pronounceable. Here Dobson-Mouawad uses her own hyphenated last name as an example. She claims that “Dobson”, which is a common Anglo-Saxon surname, is fine, but her Arabic surname, Mouawad, is already a challenge on its own, therefore unnecessary.
Here the underlying prejudice of the author has made itself known.
The fourth rule insists that you ponder, can a child of primary school age say it? Much like what was described in the past three rules, if other children find a name confusing, opt for something easier and familiar, probably implying that other kids will want to be friends with yours if they can pronounce their name, thus saving your offspring from a life of ostracization.
Lastly, the fifth rule instructs, remember that your child’s name is for their happiness alone and not to prove to the world how cool and creative you are.
Let’s just set aside the disturbing fact that Dobson-Mouawad seems to harbor some internalized racism without even realizing it.
With these five golden rules, she illustrates, whether aware of it or not, how crucial it is for people to adhere to comfortable standards of normalcy in American/Western society. Having a unique name indicates an inability to conform, or assimilate into conventional American culture (I am referring to American culture specifically here because the article was also featured on the US version of The Guardian site), which is a contradictory statement if American values really do claim to accept a vibrant mix of distinct cultural elements from people of all backgrounds.
Dobson-Mouawad’s article is problematic with its advice in that she clearly propagates an idea that is popular with many white Westerners.
In response to a New York Times article last year, Professor Jerry Hough (2015) of Duke University commented on the issues within the African American community in the United States by pointing out that at the school he taught at, “every Asian student has a very simple old American first name that symbolizes their desire for integration. Virtually every black has a strange new name that symbolizes their lack of desire for integration.”
The notion that having a nice “American” name plays a part in determining how well-integrated and successful a person can be is not a new one, but it definitely slants towards a prejudiced belief in seeing one type of name more favorable than another.
Dobson-Mouawad and others like Hough promote an ethnocentric concept which insists that in order to fit in and be less different, it’s advisable to stay away from odd-sounding names that clearly do not sound mainstream “white”.
It’s strange to regard a uniqueness of a name as being un-American simply based on the standards set by one group within America who disregard sensitive and important concepts like “identity,” but propagate the idea that people of color or those with “Other” names should submit to a Western identity, even though you’ll still be treated as a second class citizen anyway because the color of your skin is what you can’t (really) change even if you wear a white mask.
I am curious as to how Dobson-Mouawad’s advice would register with Americans of Latin American origin, many of whom practice the Spanish tradition of being given both their parents’ surnames, which often ends up with a child having five or six names.
Furthermore, there is no consensus on what is a normal name, and what is considered odd.
Is Hermione a name that children would be able to pronounce or spell? Barack Obama managed to become President of the United States, but then again the opportunity presented itself at the right, and charged, time in the US.
Were Saoirse Ronan’s parents trying to be cool and creative when they named her or is Saoirse a popular Irish name that dates back to the 1920s in Ireland?
Dobson-Mouawad’s advice about naming children following a Western checklist of approval set by a subgroup within a culture brings about the question of how socialization within American culture affects people’s ideas of identity and self-concept.
Some understanding of Dobson-Mouawad’s own upbringing and socialization could shed some light on the ethnocentric angle of her article. Perhaps interacting with a certain group of people and being exposed to a particular mindset, thus resulting in embarrassing situations, such as having to endure her name being ridiculed by others, molded her own idea of “normal” or “right”.
Of course, some people see the advantages of having a western name in lieu of their own ethnic one. There’s the issue of pinyin translations, for example.
Mask, Jackson Pollock. 1941.
In places like China or South Korea, there has long been a practice of people adopting Western names as their second name to make it easier for western employers or acquaintances who struggle with having to learn traditional East Asian names. This is a bit sad, and I use “sad” here to mean pathetic because it regards the subject of dignity.
All it does is encourage the dismissive mentality of many Americans or westerners to thrive unimpeded. Submitting to the bratty demands of Westerners only perpetuates their sense of entitlement and the idea that it’s okay that they don’t try harder to adapt to the rest of the world.
In an article written in the Telegraph last year, American entrepreneur Lindsey Jernigan shared her intentions of giving Chinese people looking to adopt Western names more favorable options through her website, BestEnglishName.com, which states on its front page, “We can help you find a name that is cool and unique but that won’t make Westerners feel uneasy”.
Yes, your real, unique name makes Westerners uneasy as it is, so let's help you find something more basic and pleasing to them.
The website, according to the article, sees 30,000 visits a month from mostly young women hoping to study overseas. In a more globalized world, having western names is seen as progressive and “cool”, to use Dobson-Mouawad’s term she applies to “unique” names, and it reflects the growing influence of American culture and norms in particular which dictate the standard of uniformity and acceptance.
Frankly speaking, Dobson-Mouawad’s profoundly ignorant advice about naming children is more senseless than it is helpful.
Her unpleasant experiences in the past are not ones shared by everyone with lengthy, different-sounding names, nor those of us who are not phonetically challenged, due to less homogeneous upbringings. To say that people should abide by certain standards that are culturally acceptable in America when thinking of baby names, yet disregard the fact that America consists of people of different ethnicities and values is dismissive of those who come from cultures that boast their own traditional names and are more receptive to different kinds.
Dobson-Mouawad seems to assume that as a Westerner who belongs to a certain myopic culture, she must be right in extending advice to everyone, irrespective of origin or cultural differences, as though she is assuming that everyone wants to, or should strive to be “white” as she did in her childhood.
