Only foreigners who know you. You walked into elevators with Malays already standing inside, made eye contact, and felt inclined to acknowledge them with the standard Raya greeting, as is the civil thing to do, especially during a festive day for Muslims, which Malays are. They immediately looked down at their phones, pretended they hadn’t seen you, or brushed past you brusquely.

Truthfully, this is normal. The Malays are not exactly known for their fellowship.

“It’s probably because you don’t look like the standard Malay Muslim in a tudung,” some people might suggest. I’ve also had this said to me before in my younger days.

To that I would respond, “Isn’t having good manners part of being a respectable Muslim?”

Everything is redefined and distorted here so you won’t get anywhere by asking questions. Even a “But isn’t Malaysia the 2nd friendliest country in Asia?” will result in one of those steely stares people who’re not used to being asked questions use, or a sneer.

The Chinese generally say hello or strike up a conversation. Today, though, there was a pronounced silence and avoidance of eye contact. I’m not a fan of small talk or empty conversation, but the difference made me wonder if there was animosity in the air.

Did Akmal Saleh succeed in stirring up more divisiveness among divided Malaysians with his piss-poor manners and desire to punish others for a careless mistake they made and owned up to? Surely not. He doesn’t speak for all Malays or Muslims. The guy represents the Malays who don’t understand concepts like apologizing for a wrongdoing, taking responsibility, admitting their shortcomings, and showing humility.

He represents the Malays who attach their entire sense of identity to Islam — that which Muslims believe to be complete and without fault (‘Malayness’ as its own identity still can’t be properly defined or understood) — by mistakenly adopting the erroneous belief that being adherents of Islam makes them complete and without fault by association.

I’m no student of religion, but I don’t think that’s what being a Muslim is. I think that’s what narcissism is.

If you’re a flawed human being, which you are — because logic would dictate that you’re not God — then you would be able to recognize when others commit a wrong that was unintentional and thus forgivable. And you would recognize that it’s a dick move to hold other people to higher standards while exempting yourself from any whatsoever, knowing that you belong to a party of miscreants that have never apologized or taken responsibility for all of their collective wrongdoing.

Maybe I was reading too much into today.

I think it’s just a Malaysian thing. I don’t take it to heart. Most of the time you feel like an outsider here, in a country that is perpetually lost, where folks are not on the same page, and there is no collectively observed standard that people adhere to. Thank cats for the foreigners who have a better sense of geniality. They injected a sense of normalcy into the day.

Selamat Hari Raya!